Depression and Men

Written by Brenda Boatswain, Ph.D.
Spring 2006
Introduction

Dan* a 20 year old college junior, sat in his doctor’s office recounting his experience of the last 2 weeks. He told his doctor of his feeling tired constantly, and having difficulty getting out of bed. He told his doctor: “everything seems like a chore. I have no interest in school, work, my friends, nothing. I find myself distancing myself from my girlfriend and not enjoying time with her as much. At times, my brain seems like in a fog and I feel like I’m sinking into a black hole. I find myself sad and then angry at times for no reason. I am having difficulty concentrating and remembering things. I can’t even remember what I had for dinner last night. And that’s another thing; I am not eating. I lost 3 pounds in 2 weeks. I feel like I only have energy to watch t.v.. At nights, I can’t fall asleep. I fall asleep around 5am and sleep all day, missing my classes and breakfast and lunch. I don’t go to the cafeteria for dinner because I worry about people laughing at me or talking about me and judging me. I met a new girl online the other day. We go drinking at the bar every weekend. She also introduced me to pot. It is the only time I feel good about myself and my life. I know my parents wouldn’t approve of my drinking and doing drugs, but they don’t understand me. This girl, she’s kind of weird and messed up, but she’s a lot of fun and understands me.”

* Note: Dan is a fictitious character.

What is Depression ?

Depression is a mood disorder. People who suffer from depression experience a number of symptoms including depressed mood, reduced motivation, decreased energy, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, feelings of anger, increase or decrease in sleep, appetite, weight, sex drive, and problems concentration and memory. People who suffer from depression may also experience physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, and muscle tension. These symptoms of depression interfere with people’s ability to function at school, work, in relationships, and ability to enjoy life.

Depression affects more than 19 million Americans age 18 and older each year. Depression is a treatable illness that can occur in any one, at any time, and for various reasons regardless of age, gender, race, or income. Depression may be due to genetic, hormonal, or social (e.g. stress from work, family responsibility, roles and expectations, sexual abuse, poverty, abuse or neglect) factors.

In men depression may go undetected. Male gender identity is based on dominance, separation, and individuation. Many boys are taught to be dominant and aggressive. The more hurt, vulnerable, or frightened the boy, the more aggressive he may become. Often men are taught to always be strong and persevere through tough times. Men may feel they cannot express emotions such as fear, hurt, or sadness because they have been discouraged from having these emotions. Talking about thoughts and feelings or even crying is not a luxury men allow themselves. Men may find it easier to express anger rather than sadness. Some use alcohol, drugs, food, or sex to cope with depression. In sum, depression often goes untreated in men and may manifest as aggression, being a workaholic, other addictions, or as not living up to one’s potential. If you are a man and notice any of these patterns in your life or experience persistent feelings of pessimism, lethargy, irritability, or sadness for two weeks or more, it’s important to seek help.