Parents Need Help Coping, Too

Detroit Free Press -
Here is some advice for dealing with anxiety and uncertainty after job and financial losses.
-- Volunteer. Susie Kamen, a Michigan social worker, says volunteering is a way to avoid isolation, develop skills and be part of a community.
-- Network. Don't retreat. "When people feel stressed, they isolate themselves. Having a good social network is a coping mechanism," says Britta Roan, a psychologist who works as a career counselor at the University of Michigan-Dearborn. "And, most people find new jobs through a contact."
-- Be a support network. When you share what you know, you feel like you're making a contribution. "You'll also feel a resilience," Roan says.
-- Get something done. Set a goal for each day. Break a big task like finding a job into smaller steps, says Roan. Try to schedule a lunch or a coffee once a week for "informational interviewing," where you approach a contact not for a job interview, but to find out about fields that interest you.
-- Take a class. In whatever you want. It can open new avenues to you, and help you feel prepared for the future - because you're aiming for tomorrow instead of stewing over the ruins of today.
-- Start a gratitude list. Count your blessings and put them on paper. "Ask yourself what's really working in your life" - and write it down, says Kamen. "When we focus on things that are working, we feel a little better. It opens us up to other opportunities. It expands our thinking."
-- Talk to someone. Talk to a friend, a pastor, a counselor, even a stranger in a coffee shop about the common anxiety we're all sharing.
-- Connect. Consider a connection to spirituality or religion, whatever appeals to you, Kamen says.
-- Exercise. Try yoga. Try meditation techniques (sign up for classes at community colleges). Go for a walk. "Stress has a physical impact on us that's not favorable," Kamen says.
-- Reflect, don't ruminate. Constantly rehashing downer events keeps us stuck in negativity, says Ethan Kross of the University of Michigan. If you revisit the bad memory, try taking a few steps back and watch the past unfold. In your mind, refer to yourself in the third person. Studies by Kross and a colleague suggested that the distance technique alleviated depressed feelings.